When Someone Finally Witnesses You

For some the most frightening thing is not being unseen but being seen.

Moon spent years learning to deny her own reality for the comfort, stability, or survival of other people, being witnessed can feel almost impossible to receive.

“You’re explaining their behaviour before acknowledging its impact on you.”

Indie said to Moon.

Moon questioned her perception before questioning what happened. To make their reality coherent while abandoning hers.

Eventually, this becomes more than a habit.

It becomes a way of living…

And because this adaptation may have helped you survive, letting go of it can feel terrifying.

This is part of why being genuinely witnessed can be so destabilising.

A witness does something very different from a person who simply comforts you.

A witness does not necessarily tell you what you want to hear. They don’t simply validate every interpretation. They help you remain present with what you actually experienced.

They might say…. That happened.

And I can see why that hurt.

You don’t have to explain their behavior before you’re allowed to acknowledge your own experience.

And suddenly something inside you literally has nowhere left to hide.

Moon raged and became defensive.

Because their presence creates a terrifying possibility… their reality mattered.

“When you’re born in a burning house, you think the world is burning. And maybe it is… but the whole world is not on fire.”

Indie said to Moon…

“I will take responsibility for what belongs to me.

And stop carrying what was never mine.”